The Good Chameleon

I often get confused for other types of people.

Who I get confused with depends on where I am, who I'm speaking to and what I'm doing. When I'm suited up, I look for all the world like I'm off to the office. Other times I look like an addict on the street. Other times I look gay, and sometimes I've even been described as having a "para-military thing going on".

The way I speak changes depending on my audience, my mindset and my environment.

I've heard the term "chameleon" used a lot on recent times, and not in a good way. The first time I heard it I thought it was a compliment. I later realised that there's a good number of people out there who absolutely do not mean it as a compliment. It implies that you are a cold-blooded reptile. A shape-shifter set to take advantage of others.

I can see why people might think that.

Many years ago, before I moved into Stainforth Court I spent a little time squatting in an old abandoned swimming pool. While I was there I came across a guy who calls himself Todd. I didn't know it at the time, but Todd's interest in me was all about this woman he knew, who I had met only once and only briefly. He befriended me at first (I imagine to get whatever information he could from me about this woman) and then proceeded to terrorise me while I was at my most vulnerable.

He got it into his head that I was part of the cult The Family and said "you know there are people out there who kill people like you." At the time I had no idea what he meant. I've since looked up "The Family" and realised this guy was a special kind of paranoid, with delusions of being some kind of hippy spirit warrior.

I once ran into him in the Salvation Army job network where he  convinced me to commit fraud and sign one of his Centrelink forms. I was still very much a 'yes' person back then, and I was feeling intimidated, so I did. A few minutes later he was on the phone to Centrelink with a flawless Irish accent.

I have since met a few people like this. People who are very good at deceiving and have many faces, aren't afraid to intimidate and have dubious motives.

I can see why some people are wary of 'chameleons', but I'm also a bit fed up with being confused with people like this.

I am a chameleon out of necessity. If I were to be myself all the time, consistently, I would be an alien to everyone. I have to pretend just to get along. That doesn't mean I'm a bad person, it just means I'm different.

I grew up in Bridgewater (a low socio-economic area, mostly public housing), but always had middle class friends (my mother always encouraged me to have healthy friendships). If I were to have used the same language with my friends in school that I grew up around, it would have been immediately alienating.

I've just spent a lot of time hanging out with a lot of different types of people, and have had to learn to adapt.

I've worked cleaning toilets, selling computers, doing tech-support, data-entry, picture framing, as well as having spent quite a bit of time in the Hobart underground and Uni. I spend time with both Christian and secular people, left and right and my politics is somewhere in the centre. I'm left, but not socialist. I agree on some issues with Jordan Peterson, on others with Bob Brown and disagree with both of them at times.

One of my old friends said "I always thought you were a bit of an everyman." One of the nicest compliments I've received.

But that doesn't mean my motives are bad, or always selfish. In fact, if I ever do find myself with power, I always do my best to use it in a good way (like trying to smooth over a problem between two types of people who are having trouble finding common ground), and that rarely works to my benefit.

After seeing my boss be super-mean to one of his staff, I remember thinking to myself when I was 16 yo and working for Best & Less that I would rather be stepped on than to do the stepping. For better or worse, that's how I've lived my life.

So I'd like to float the idea that maybe there are good chameleons out there. That the ability to change doesn't necessarily make you a bad person. Doing bad things makes you a bad person.

Not all of us chameleons are cold-blooded reptiles looking to get an advantage - some of us are trying to help.

If there are chameleons out there, wouldn't it be nice to think some of them are out there working for you?

So there it is, my confession: I'm a chameleon. But I try my damned hardest not to use it to hurt people.

So, I hear you ask, how can I tell the difference? Unfortunately for me in the short term, you can't. You really need to look at a persons behavior closely over a long period of time to be sure. Only the few can ever really know who I am, I've come to accept that. And I absolutely don't recommend being more open to 'chameleons' like Todd, so as much as I would prefer people to give me the benefit of the doubt, I accept the scrutiny.

There are people almost indistinguishable from me out there that you really do need to watch out for, so I guess that means it's always going to be a hard road earning peoples trust.

That's ok.

The friendships that make it to the other side are rock-solid, and worth it.

Edit:
Just thought I'd add this. A few days ago I bumped into this guy again. This is what I mean by terrorising:
https://soundcloud.com/aetherian-nathaniel-roach/threats-in-the-street